I may have been pregnant and exhausted at the time, but I remember when President Obama took office he promised to end the use of torture while interrogating suspected terrorists. Obviously, torture is inhumane and a violation of human rights, but I have watched enough episodes of 24 to know there are some Jack Bauer types out there using torture tactics whether Obama likes it or not. And for those counter-terrorism agents, I have a suggestion for you: ear wax removal. Water boarding and sensory deprivation don't hold a candle to this ball of wax (the wax puns are just too easy...). Why am I so up on forms of torture? Sadly, I witnessed Caitlin experience this tactic at her four month check-up yesterday.
I was nervous going into this appointment because Caitlin was scheduled for another round of immunizations. I didn't see the ear wax thing coming. As Dr. P. was performing her routine checks, she peeked into Caitlin's ears and said, "Hmmmm...she has a bit of wax build up in her right ear. I'm just going to get that out, o.k.?" Sure. When I remove wax from my ear, I use a Q-Tip and the sensation is somewhat pleasant. Instead of pulling out a Q-Tip, Dr. P. busted out a long, metal device resembling the instrument dentists use to scrape plaque away. I was not liking the looks of this, but then it got worse. Dr. P. asked me to hold Caitlin's hands. Now I knew we were in trouble, given that I had to restrain my baby daughter. As Dr. P. inserted the ear wax remover into Caitlin's ear I tried not to look, but it was sort of like driving past a car accident. You just can't help but stare. I watched Dr. P. dig into Caitlin's ear over and over again, each time removing a clump of orange ear wax. While it doesn't sound too traumatizing, trust me, it was brutal. Caitlin's screams must have scared off the majority of patients in the waiting room. As this was happening, Dr. P told me ear wax build up is hereditary and she asked, "Who is the waxy one in the family?" "My husband," I answered immediately, mostly because he wasn't there witnessing this trauma, therefore he gets the blame. Being an optimist, the positive spin on this experience is the shots did not bother Caitlin nearly as much as the ear digging. So, CIA, CTU, take notice: if you want answers and you want them now, call up your local pediatrician and ask to borrow their ear wax remover. Trust me, the bad guys will tell you anything you want to know.
Post Script:
On a lighter note (or heavier, depending on your view of things), Caitlin continues to thrive. As her ear wax grows in abundance, so does the rest of her body. She currently weights 17 lbs, 7 oz, which places her at the 98.13%tile. She measures 27.63 inches long, placing her at the 99.95%tile. She is meeting all developmental milestones, including rolling over, laughing, "talking," and lifting up her head and chest while on her tummy. She found her feet and loves trying to put them into her mouth. Lastly, Caitlin's two bottom teeth are coming in. Teething is bothering her and she has become a little fussy, but we will survive. Dr. P. gave us the go-ahead for solid foods in one month. We got a video camera for Christmas, so stay tuned for some cutting edge footage of Caitlin's adventures in eating!
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