I Said No

My daughter does not listen to me. For months, the Terrific Tot was compliant, pleasant, and agreeable most of the time. If I asked her to put a fork in the dishwasher, clean up her toys, or stop trying to ride the dog like a small pony, she would smile, listen, and obey. I thought I had a remarkable child, impervious to the obstinacy that comes with toddlerhood. I was a total idiot.

Over the past month, something has changed. Now when I ask the Terrific Tot to do just about anything, her standard response is, "NO."

"Caitlin, it's time to take your bath." "NO."

"Caitlin, let's go upstairs for naptime." "NO."

"Caitlin, please brush your teeth." "Seriously?"

"Caitlin, come eat your supper." "Didn't you hear me the first time lady? I said, 'NO!'"

When she hears my voice, Caitlin simply looks up from her toys, stares, looks back at her toys, sighs, says "NO," and goes right on playing. Could she speak in sentences, I think she would say, "Listen, Mom, I know you are trying to take care of me and all, but I'm kind of busy here."

What happens next depends. Sometimes, I wait until Caitlin becomes distracted from her present activity and try to redirect her attention to the task at hand. Sometimes, I tell her Bella made a mess in the bathroom, nursery, or kitchen, which we must investigate immediately. Sometimes after a long day, I let Daddy take over and hide in the other room with Facebook and an U.S. Weekly. When I am really exhausted and impatient, I pick up Miss I Said No, bring her to the desired location, and enforce my supreme motherly power. This doesn't usually end well.

I suppose Caitlin's refusal to listen means she is asserting independence, expressing wants and desires, and showing self-assurance. While I hope my daughter will be independent and confident, I also hope she will be respectful and listen to others. Somehow, I must allow opportunities for her to make choices and gain independence, while also teaching her the importance of listening and doing what is asked. Until then, I must teach myself to be patient and accept "No" for an answer, at least once in a while.